Relationships whether new or seasoned provide fears.
To tell the truth, many of us fear love and therefore hold back emotions or dream up situations that may or may not have merit.
Many relationships have suffered due to our false imagination and the real stories we tell ourselves.
There are a few things we can do to help determine whether our relationship fears are rational or irrational.
- When the fear ‘creeps up’ take a minute to consider whether this is a fear you have always had or something new as a result of the person you are dating? Often times, we bring old cautions to a new relationship and create a full story based on past experiences rather than the current relationship. (irrational)
- Talk to your mate often, create trust that allows the both of you to speak candidly about past experiences and reasons for break up. Are they truly apologetic and have changed from their old habits? (rational)
- Listen, listen, listen. Clues are all around you. So often when we find our fears are true (rational), there were signs along the way that we chose to ignore.
- Examine your truthfulness and faithfulness. Sometimes the fear you have of a relationship gone bad because of something you have done or are thinking about doing creates an irrational fear that your mate is doing something. (irrational)
- What has been your mate’s track record? If you know they are faithful and have been faithful, your fear may be irrational and create the space for your fear to become a reality. If you know they have ‘roaming eyes’, the fear may be very rational. And it becomes a matter of what are you willing to tolerate.
- If things have changed at home and you are noticing distance between you and the one you love that was not there previously, the fear is probably rational and should be addressed. Addressed – not confrontational. (rational)